Dragonflies and Water Bugs

Recently I have had several people in my life who have been experiencing or going through a bereavement, be it first, second or third hand.  We all know that death is a part of life, but that doesn’t make it any easier to cope with when it is our turn to experience it.  Those of you who know me well, will know that I have experienced it myself several times over my 30 years in various different forms.  People who were close, those who weren’t quite so close, some who were expected and others which were a shock, friends taken well before their time, and those who have lived just short of a century.  Everyone deals with loss in their own way and it’s a very personal process to go through.  I personally took it as a reminder to tell those close to me how much they mean to me (something we all do far too infrequently) and also to take learnings from the people who had passed so that their legacy could live on.

I would like to share with you the passages which have helped me get through these times over the years and the learnings that I took from the early departure of one particular friend.

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Do not stand at my grave and weep

Mary Frye / Wilbur Skeels

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you wake in the morning hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.

I am the song that will never end.
I am the love of family and friend.
I am the child who has come to rest
In the arms of the Father who knows him best.

When you see the sunset fair,
I am the scented evening air.
I am the joy of a task well done.
I am the glow of the setting sun.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there, I did not die.

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Waterbugs and Dragonflies
by Doris Stickney

Down below the surface of a quiet pond lived a little colony of water bugs. They were a happy colony, living far away from the sun. For many months they werevery busy, scurrying over the soft mud on the bottom of the pond. They did notice that every once in awhile one of their colony seemed to lose interest in goingabout. Clinging to the stem of a pond lily it gradually moved out of sight and was seen no more.

“Look!” said one of the water bugs to another. “One of our colony is climbing up the lily stalk. Where do you think she is going?” Up, up, up it slowly went….Evenas they watched, the water bug disappeared from sight. Its friends waited and waited but it didn’t return…

“That’s funny!” said one water bug to another. “Wasn’t she happy here?” asked a second… “Where do you suppose she went?” wondered a third.

No one had an answer. They were greatly puzzled. Finally one of the water bugs, a leader in the colony, gathered its friends together. “I have an idea”. The next oneof us who climbs up the lily stalk must promise to come back and tell us where he or she went and why.”

“We promise”, they said solemnly.

One spring day, not long after, the very water bug who had suggested the plan found himself climbing up the lily stalk. Up, up, up, he went. Before he knew whatwas happening, he had broke through the surface of the water and fallen onto the broad, green lily pad above.

When he awoke, he looked about with surprise. He couldn’t believe what he saw. A startling change had come to his old body. His movement revealed four silverwings and a long tail. Even as he struggled, he felt an impulse to move his wings…The warmth of the sun soon dried the moisture from the new body. He moved hiswings again and suddenly found himself up above the water. He had become a dragonfly!!

Swooping and dipping in great curves, he flew through the air. He felt exhilarated in the new atmosphere. By and by the new dragonfly lighted happily on a lily pad torest. Then it was that he chanced to look below to the bottom of the pond. Why, he was right above his old friends, the water bugs! There they were scurryingaround, just as he had been doing some time before.

The dragonfly remembered the promise: “The next one of us who climbs up the lily stalk will come back and tell where he or she went and why.” Without thinking,the dragonfly darted down. Suddenly he hit the surface of the water and bounced away. Now that he was a dragonfly, he could no longer go into the water…

“I can’t return!” he said in dismay. “At least, I tried. But I can’t keep my promise. Even if I could go back, not one of the water bugs would know me in my newbody. I guess I’ll just have to wait until they become dragonflies too. Then they’ll understand what has happened to me, and where I went.”

And the dragonfly winged off happily into its wonderful new world of sun and air to dance and play with all of the family and friends who had climbed the lily stalk before him…

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Lessons from Lee

Claire Brummell

On reflection on a beautiful day celebrating (albeit through many tears) the wonderful life of an amazing young man…I found myself inspired. I found myself realising that there is so much that we can learn from Lee and can hopefully improve our own lives through taking inspiration from the way that he chose to live his life. So I comprised a little list of Lessons from Lee, either ones that he directly lived, or those that he inspired me to realise:

1. Try to make someone else feel special, even if it’s just by smiling at them – you’ve no idea the impact it could have one someone else’s day / month / year / life.
2. Tell everyone who means something to you how you feel about them.
3. Do everything you want to do…and even some things you don’t.
4. Don’t be afraid to look silly.
5. Never let anything hold you back in life – especially not what other people may or may not think – those that matter won’t really be bothered, those that are really bothered won’t matter.
6. Whenever you want to sing, dance, hug, laugh, do it. No matter where you are or who you’re with.
7. Take time for yourselves, your friends and family and truly value the relationships in your life – they’re what make you who you are.
8. Appreciate everything you have in your life right now (especially the moment you’re in!) and live every second to the fullest.
9. Find someone who inspires you, and try hard to inspire someone else.
10. Remember that time is the most valuable gift you can give someone else.
11. Forgive.
12. Never ever stop trying to be a better person but never ever worry about not being perfect.

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So I am dedicating this post to all of the friends and family who have touched my life but are no longer with us, and to each and every person out there who has experienced grief in any one of its many forms and I hope that the above may help you to find comfort, and to keep living and loving this wonderful gift called life for every precious moment that we have.

C xx