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Well yesterday was a pretty amusing day. It was Pay it Forward Day, the idea being that on April 29, 2010 everyone who wanted to be a part of the day as a group made a conscious organized effort apart from our normal daily routines. The message was to “~ Be the Change in the World~ start in your own Community… 1 Kind Act 4 the Planet, an Animal or Human Counts! Love+ Altruism + Action= Change”.
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?tab=3#!/event.php?eid=106599329364917&ref=ts
The Goal was to get a minimum of 10,000 registrations for Pay It Forward Day Event on April 29, 2010, where each of them made a conscious effort to make a difference in someone else’s life. The group as of today has 259, 952 confirmed guests (I’m quite surprised and amused by the palindromic nature of this number…not sure why it matters, it just seems like a weird coincidence) – if only 10% of them actually took action of the day that would still be nearly 26,000 random acts of kindness…which has got to be a good thing.
I love this idea as a concept…in fact I wish that people did this every day and didn’t have to be reminded by having a special day for it…but hey, in this busy and fast paced life that we all exist in at the moment I’m a realist. Generally other people and doing things for them is not a high priority for people running around going about their daily business (though it’s not really an excuse and life would be so much better if we did all spare a thought for other people more often).
So I did my bit for Pay it Forward day and performed my random act of kindness in my local supermarket by offering to pay for the items that the lady behind me in the queue was purchasing. The reaction I got was nothing less that pure astonishment. She asked me to explain what pay it forward was about so I explained to her that you do a kind deed for someone else and if possible you ask them to pay it forward in doing something nice for someone else and so on and so forth. She asked me if it needed to all be in the same day and I told her that no, it could be whenever she wanted. So I paid for her items, handed her the bag, thanked her for allowing me to pay for the items and wished her a nice day. She was very appreciative for the gesture, but still somewhat bemused, as I walked off she simply said “extraordinary”…which both made me very happy but also a little sad.
I was glad to have surprised someone and to have done something nice for them and it left me with a spring in my step and a smile on my face for the rest of the day. But in a way it was sad that a random act of kindness was met with such disbelief. So I’m making this a call out to each of you, to try and remember to do random kind acts for strangers on a regular basis, so that people aren’t so dumbfounded when people do something kind for them. It can be anything, letting someone pull out in front of you at a junction, paying for the person’s coffee who is in front of you at Starbucks, giving someone a ticket for a car park that still has time on it, even something as small as holding the door for someone or smiling to them as they pass you on the street. It doesn’t have to be big, and it doesn’t have to cost money, but wouldn’t it be great if we all did things like this more often…?
C x
Recently I have had several people in my life who have been experiencing or going through a bereavement, be it first, second or third hand. We all know that death is a part of life, but that doesn’t make it any easier to cope with when it is our turn to experience it. Those of you who know me well, will know that I have experienced it myself several times over my 30 years in various different forms. People who were close, those who weren’t quite so close, some who were expected and others which were a shock, friends taken well before their time, and those who have lived just short of a century. Everyone deals with loss in their own way and it’s a very personal process to go through. I personally took it as a reminder to tell those close to me how much they mean to me (something we all do far too infrequently) and also to take learnings from the people who had passed so that their legacy could live on.
I would like to share with you the passages which have helped me get through these times over the years and the learnings that I took from the early departure of one particular friend.
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Do not stand at my grave and weep
Mary Frye / Wilbur Skeels
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you wake in the morning hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.
I am the song that will never end.
I am the love of family and friend.
I am the child who has come to rest
In the arms of the Father who knows him best.
When you see the sunset fair,
I am the scented evening air.
I am the joy of a task well done.
I am the glow of the setting sun.
Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there, I did not die.
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Waterbugs and Dragonflies
by Doris Stickney
by Doris Stickney
Down below the surface of a quiet pond lived a little colony of water bugs. They were a happy colony, living far away from the sun. For many months they werevery busy, scurrying over the soft mud on the bottom of the pond. They did notice that every once in awhile one of their colony seemed to lose interest in goingabout. Clinging to the stem of a pond lily it gradually moved out of sight and was seen no more.
“Look!” said one of the water bugs to another. “One of our colony is climbing up the lily stalk. Where do you think she is going?” Up, up, up it slowly went….Evenas they watched, the water bug disappeared from sight. Its friends waited and waited but it didn’t return…
“That’s funny!” said one water bug to another. “Wasn’t she happy here?” asked a second… “Where do you suppose she went?” wondered a third.
No one had an answer. They were greatly puzzled. Finally one of the water bugs, a leader in the colony, gathered its friends together. “I have an idea”. The next oneof us who climbs up the lily stalk must promise to come back and tell us where he or she went and why.”
“We promise”, they said solemnly.
One spring day, not long after, the very water bug who had suggested the plan found himself climbing up the lily stalk. Up, up, up, he went. Before he knew whatwas happening, he had broke through the surface of the water and fallen onto the broad, green lily pad above.
When he awoke, he looked about with surprise. He couldn’t believe what he saw. A startling change had come to his old body. His movement revealed four silverwings and a long tail. Even as he struggled, he felt an impulse to move his wings…The warmth of the sun soon dried the moisture from the new body. He moved hiswings again and suddenly found himself up above the water. He had become a dragonfly!!
Swooping and dipping in great curves, he flew through the air. He felt exhilarated in the new atmosphere. By and by the new dragonfly lighted happily on a lily pad torest. Then it was that he chanced to look below to the bottom of the pond. Why, he was right above his old friends, the water bugs! There they were scurryingaround, just as he had been doing some time before.
The dragonfly remembered the promise: “The next one of us who climbs up the lily stalk will come back and tell where he or she went and why.” Without thinking,the dragonfly darted down. Suddenly he hit the surface of the water and bounced away. Now that he was a dragonfly, he could no longer go into the water…
“I can’t return!” he said in dismay. “At least, I tried. But I can’t keep my promise. Even if I could go back, not one of the water bugs would know me in my newbody. I guess I’ll just have to wait until they become dragonflies too. Then they’ll understand what has happened to me, and where I went.”
And the dragonfly winged off happily into its wonderful new world of sun and air to dance and play with all of the family and friends who had climbed the lily stalk before him…
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Lessons from Lee
Claire Brummell
On reflection on a beautiful day celebrating (albeit through many tears) the wonderful life of an amazing young man…I found myself inspired. I found myself realising that there is so much that we can learn from Lee and can hopefully improve our own lives through taking inspiration from the way that he chose to live his life. So I comprised a little list of Lessons from Lee, either ones that he directly lived, or those that he inspired me to realise:
- Try to make someone else feel special, even if it’s just by smiling at them – you’ve no idea the impact it could have one someone else’s day / month / year / life.
- Tell everyone who means something to you how you feel about them.
- Do everything you want to do…and even some things you don’t.
- Don’t be afraid to look silly.
- Never let anything hold you back in life – especially not what other people may or may not think – those that matter won’t really be bothered, those that are really bothered won’t matter.
- Whenever you want to sing, dance, hug, laugh, do it. No matter where you are or who you’re with.
- Take time for yourselves, your friends and family and truly value the relationships in your life – they’re what make you who you are.
- Appreciate everything you have in your life right now (especially the moment you’re in!) and live every second to the fullest.
- Find someone who inspires you, and try hard to inspire someone else.
- Remember that time is the most valuable gift you can give someone else.
- Forgive.
- Never ever stop trying to be a better person but never ever worry about not being perfect.
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So I am dedicating this post to all of the friends and family who have touched my life but are no longer with us, and to each and every person out there who has experienced grief in any one of its many forms and I hope that the above may help you to find comfort, and to keep living and loving this wonderful gift called life for every precious moment that we have.
C xx
Saw something on facebook that inspired me to write this….everyone has them, those get up and go songs that make you want to jump out of bed in the morning, run that little bit faster at the gym, sing and dance around the house like a muppet…
Music has the power to move you and change your mood totally, and I want to know what YOUR mood changers are…the songs that motivate you when your having an energy slump or the ones that just simply bring a smile to your face!!
Here are some of mine:
So…what are yours…?
One of the questions I get asked most regularly when someone is going to a salsa club for the first time is “What do I wear?”…and funnily enough it is the men who are just as concerned as the women in getting it right! It’s perfectly natural question to ask as you want to feel like you fit in (the last thing anyone wants to do is to stick out like a sore thumb!) so here are my top tips on what to wear on your first visit to a club:
- Be comfortable – First and most important rule. You need to be comfortable, you want to feel like yourself and wear something that is easy to move in.
- Dress for the occasion – What to wear is often based on what sort of event you’re going to. If you’re going to a regular class which happens every week then most women will wear jeans, trousers or a fairly casual skirt and a top and the men will wear jeans or trousers and a shirt or t-shirt – nothing too flashy or over dressed, this is saved for special occasions! If it’s a party night you might want to smarten up a bit more, but if it’s your first time I’d err on being under dressed rather than over dressed. Special occasions women will wear nice spangly tops or dresses and guys wear trousers with shirt.
- You don’t want to get too hot – Women, make sure you have layers on, so that if you get warm you can take something off. I normally have a sleeveless top with a small cardi or light jacket over the top as normally I’m warm within the first 10 minutes or so! Men, if you know you’re likely to get warm have a spare T-shirt or shirt in your bag in case you get a little hot and bothered.
- Beware the spin test! – Ladies if you wear a skirt make sure that if you spin round quickly it’s not going to ride up and flash anything you don’t want being seen! If in doubt go for trousers.
- Shoes glorious shoes! – It’s a good idea for both men and women to opt for leather soled shoes as they won’t grip the floor when you turn. Women if you’re comfortable in it go for something with a small heel as this will help you stay on your toes. Definitely avoid trainers as they will stick to the floor and will hurt your knees and ankles. If you decide to take it up regularly ask you teacher to recommend somewhere to get some proper dance shoes as they will be more comfortable and easier to dance in.
If you’re in the Guildford area and fancy giving salsa a go – check out the Sunday Salsa in Guildford classes at the Keystone – they’re very friendly and a great place to test the water if you’re a first-timer!
Salsa clubs can, at first, seem quite intimidating scary places – you walk in and there’s strange music and a whole room full of people who all seem to know exactly what they’re doing…and there’s you feeling like a square peg in a round hole with not the foggiest on how to even start or where to go. Well the good news for you is that at some point whether it be many moons ago or much more likely in the not so distant past, those people whizzing around the floor looking all flash with their stylish Latin moves were stood exactly where you are feeling exactly how you do….and no matter how good you may think they look, chances are they still feel like they don’t know what they’re doing..!
The main things to remember if you’re nervous about going to a salsa club for the first time are:
- Salsa dancers are by nature a very friendly breed – They may look a little serious sometime while they’re dancing, but chances are that this is just because they’re concentrating and trying to remember the moves – generally speaking we’re very friendly and happy to make new-comers welcome. If someone kisses you on both cheeks they aren’t being forward…this is just the way that we say hello and goodbye to each other! 🙂
- Do your research – Find out when the beginners class is and arrive about 15 mins beforehand. This gives you a chance to get a little comfortable and also to spot any other newbies who you can bond with over a drink while you’re waiting for the class to start. The good news is that most if not all people in the beginners are in the same boat so you can get a great feeling of camaraderie between you and you’ll have people to chat to and dance with afterwards.
- Don’t worry about going alone – Going on your own is one of the most nerve-wracking things in the world, but it actually can be a great way to meet people…you’re far more approachable on your own to chat to and it can be easier to get talking to others in the class if you’re not always chatting to a buddy that you’ve come with. If you’re worried about not knowing anyone email the organiser before you go to ask about the class times so that you can say hello when you get there, chances are they may introduce you to some of their regulars when you arrive.
- Don’t be afraid to introduce yourself to people – when you’re dancing with someone don’t be afraid to say “Hi, my name is ________”, once you know a few names of your fellow dancers the club will feel much friendlier.
- Don’t drink too much! – A little dutch courage is fine, so if you fancy a quick half a pint before starting then feel free, but be conscious not to overdo it as it may make remembering the moves and keeping control of your feet even harder!
- Don’t be afraid to ask people to dance, but don’t be put off if they turn you down – It’s very scary asking people to dance for the first time…but we were all beginners once and if people didn’t dance with us at that point we wouldn’t be where we are now. So just go up to your chosen dancer, ask politely if they’d like to dance and if they say yes, then just tell them you’re a beginner – most people won’t mind. If they do turn you down then don’t take it personally – salsa dancing is tiring business, and there’s a good chance they’ll be in need of a drink, a toilet break or just a bit of a rest, so just smile, say “No problem” and find someone else.
- If you don’t find that the club you try is the right fit for you, try somewhere else – Salsa clubs are like anything, there are different sorts different teaching styles and different people have different preferences. If the first one to try isn’t quite for you then don’t let it put you off…just try another one and see how you get on!
- Just have fun – Salsa is a great hobby which is fun and a good way to meet new people, so go with the intention of having a good time and you’ll be just fine!
If you’re in the Guildford area and fancy giving it a go – check out the Sunday Salsa in Guildford classes at the Keystone – they’re very friendly and a great place to test the water if you’re a bit nervous!
Next time: What to wear to a salsa club.
An Obituary printed in the London Times that I found via a friend’s blog. So true, very cleverly written and though-provoking…
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn’t always fair; and Maybe it was my fault..
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled some in her lap, and was promptly awarded a cash settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.
He is survived by entities known as:
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I’m A Victim
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
Hi Everyone,
I’m entering into the big wide world of blogging!!
Expect a lot of silliness, fun and the odd serious remark (emphasis on the word “odd”)
Back soon!
C x
Salsa, Singing and Shoes... 